So I know everyone has family drama. This one definitely does. So much of it that I am just plain done. I have be dealing with this drama filed person for obey 8 years now. Ever since my grandfather past away. Now I know my grandmother is missing him. I get it. But to turn around and make everyone else miserable is just plain nuts. Each time I had my boys I got a lil sad knowing the greatest man or well one of the greatest man I know won’t ever meet my children. But I don’t make everyone miserable because of it. I’m just plain done. I can’t have a drama free holiday. I’m about to say fuck the holidays. And not do them anymore.
I was at the mall yesterday to go to kidsnips to get my oldest child’s hair cut. He likes it there and sits still without me holding him. Which worked cause I had Lil bear with. Well on the way out I had to return the rent a stroller since I had forgotten mine at home. I had such a hard time putting it in the return slot that Everytime I tried it kept getting stuck and I couldn’t get it in there. 2 people saw me struggle with it while holding the youngest and Bieber offered to help. Annoys the shit out of me. I mean come on people. A single mother just trying to put the stroller away so she can take her kids home. Hell if the one offered I would have just let he take mine since she was renting one herself. I don’t care about the 50 cents that gets returned. But no. So here I am trying to get this thing back into place while holding my one child and keep the other near by. Needless to day I snapped and said out loud how inconsiderate people are and stormed away without getting the cart back into the return part.
So been dealing with being sick lately. Fighting this for over a week and his what? Can’t see a doctor about it to get better meds to get better faster cause the state is taking is sweet butt time to get thru it applications for medicare. Ugh. But on a good note I got my letter for a phone interview about food stamps. Going to make life easier with worrying about how to pay for food. Never thought in my life would I get these but at this point in my life i need the help. Hope is only for a lil while but the job searching isn’t going so hot. A lot of applying but no bites.
today has been like a day from hell for this unemployed mom of 2. Being sick sucks. And add no sleep on that. Then dealing with a 2 year old who is being well a 2 year old. Changing his mind every minute. Throwing a whining fit about nothing, you know normal 2 year old things. Then we have our lovely unemployment from the state. I messed up filing the first time around initially and then again upon certifying. Well spent a good 45 minutes on the phone crying, being in anger,and then finally feeling a little better thanks to the WONDERFUL lady who helped me try to fix it all. Well it all is not fixed. I was able to certify for the current weeks but I was suppose to be able to for the other weeks I had to fix as well but it wouldn’t let me. And naturally by the time I got the chance to call back the office is now closed. UGH! Talk about luck.
Then we have my 2 year old. Crying since I pulled into our parking lot about only God knows what. I have totally lashed out on him for no reason other than not wanting to listen to him cry about nothing in particular. I know I know in his mind it makes perfect sense to cry over what is upsetting him, but then he is getting mad that I don’t know what is making him cry which makes him cry harder and I am sure by now he has completely forgotten what it was that originally set him off. I thought it was about going to see grandma. Well I guess I was wrong cause I got yelled at when I talked about her. Then I thought it was about taking his coat off finally. Got yelled at for taking it off. Finally I just sat at the computer and gave him a binky and told him to go sit on the couch away from mommy for a bit for us both to calm down. Sounds like he is calm but I defiantly am still fuming. Over the unemployment stuff not him of course. I never was mad at him. Just was way too much to deal with while dealing with unemployment. Not to mention I have not heard anything from SNAP or for the medical coverage for me from the state. Which I was told I am eligible for. And we only have til March 31st before we start with the fines for not being covered. THANK YOU OOOOH SOOOOOO FUCKING MUCH OBAMA CARE!!!!!
Been thinking a lot lately about what I should do and what I want to do. It’s been interesting to say the lease being unemployed. And honestly I’m getting bored just sitting here looking for a job and getting the same response. Sorry but we are going with someone more qualified. Or the all to used thing, never call me. Ok I know I don’t have experience where most places want it but dang it I am loyal to my job. I don’t bounce from job to job. I am a fast learner and willing to learn whatever it takes for me to do a job. But with the way its looking. No degree or no experience equals no job in the area I want. Which also means I’m stuck looking into retail. Which I don’t want. I want to be with my family more. My little guys are only little once. I really don’t want to miss things if I can avoid it. But what to do? We really can’t afford for me to be a stay at home mom. But I am not finding anything. Been a month of solid looking and only one bite that I had to turn down because of the early start and only part time work. It would literally pay for my gas to where I go. If I am luckly. I am at a loss at what to do. I’m thinking maybe call clc and get a degree while I’m waiting….
So yesterday was my mommy date with my oldest. We dropped my sister off at work then we headed to see a movie. His very first time seeing a movie in the movie theater. He did awesome for a 2 year old. We saw the lego movie.
It was pretty good. I was a little disappointed by then end. Just didn’t feel finished right. But that’s just my opinion. The child loved it so that’s what matters.
Then we had to go get his hearing tested. He passed that with flying colors. After the appointment we went back to the mall and went to the disney store. He talked me into 2 toys. Then we ate dinner at the rainforest cafe.
Again another awesome thing for him to see. He loved the moving tigers they had. All in all we had an awesome date. Couldn’t have asked for a better time with him.
Gave both my boys a bath this morning after I took my shower. Took Youngest child out and was getting him dress. Heard that the water was back on in the tub and went to go check it out all while leaving Youngest on the changing table not buckled. And guess what? He rolled off of it. Good do I feel stupid. I should know better. Luckly he is OK. Thank god. I guess even if your a veteran at this whole children thing you make stupid mistakes.
So was trying to watch my recorded show off Once Upon a Time but needless to say my children have other plans for me. They are so loud I can’t hear a dang thing on the tv. And the boyfriend thinks now is the time to talk and hold an intelligent conversation. Ok he knows when I’m in my show or game or book or whatever I’m doing to leave me be. I’m not going to be a talker till I’m done with whatever I’m doing. But not tonight. I missed the memo where it was bug mommy until she locks herself in the bedroom night. I’ve been dying for the new episode for weeks. Made sure I got caught up so I could have something to watch every week since my King of the Nerds will be ending very soon. And my kids like Once so why tonight of all nights must they be horrible. *cry* I swear I will stay up till I watch the Damn show. Otherwise I can’t get on fb for fear of people talking about it.
So last night we “sprung” ahead.
I have always hated that one. Cause you literally loose an hour of sleep if you have to work or have kids. As I do in this case I have 2 kids. So even tho the clock said 8 I knew it was still 7 in my body’s clock. But both boys were up and now dressed and playing and acting like nothing happened. Gotta love it. And even when we fall back they seem to know to all wake up at there normal time even if that meant 7 was there time to wake up they are now up at 6. I envy how they get energy. I’m dead on my feet right now and Lil bear didn’t keep us up half the night for once. Best go feed Lil best add he is staying to fuss.
I’m not sure why kids get up at the same time every morning when they went to super late. Not sure but I know I sleep till I’m ready to get up not by a certain time. This is going to be a long day. Oldest has been in time out 3 times already. Finally is happy playing on his tablet. Youngest is playing in his jumperoo. Gives me a few moments to myself. Which of course I don’t get into much cause by the time I do one of them would have decided that they need my attention and probably for no reason at all.
Which is one thing that gets to me. I could be having my mommy alone time playing a game in my bedroom while the boyfriend is watching the kids and without fail they come to find me if something is wrong. It’s like what is wrong with leaving me alone for an hour. But if the boyfriend had daddy alone time he gets it in full. I’m mean come on! Daddy is just as good as mommy. Why bug me all the time.
Yup that pretty much explains my life. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love my boys. Love being mommy to them. I just hope that they don’t loose the need to have mommy there. I don’t really want mommy’s boys but to know they will still talk to me and come to me when they need someone to talk is all I ask.